Kids.... this is the story about your dad and I not sleeping together

Last night I slept with Bakery Boy for the first time in four years. 

Military life has always disrupted our shared sleeping time through the years. But in 2010, he left for year long deployment to Afghanistan. Up until that time, we shared a bed and a bedroom. He left and I found myself sleeping in a king size bed all alone. It was lonely. I piled all the extra pillows on his side just to make it seem like he was there. 

About a year before he left, I was diagnosed with Sjogren’s Syndrome. It is an annoying autoimmune disease. When it's flares I can sleep a lot. So we struggled to sleep for a number of reasons before deployment. We also needed a new mattress. But days moved on and deployment preparations took all of our time.

He left and my sleeping alone journey began. While I missed him, I found sleeping alone very healing for me physically. A few months into the deployment I purchased a new mattress. I purchased a memory foam mattress…a nice one. I chose it because it came in a box and we live in a 100 year old house with a bugger of a turned staircase. I loved the mattress. And, wow, did I sleep. I started to feel really good. I was also very excited for him to return and sleep with me!

He returned. He was excited about me but not very excited about the mattress. He couldn’t roll over easily. I thought he needed to give it a chance. One thing was new… he seemed to be snoring more than he ever had before he left. We were concerned. Post deployment, for a number of reasons, required him to sleep with a loud fan. We decided he needed to have a sleep study. No sleep apnea. He then went to an ENT. Our ENT even said he didn’t present for sleep apnea but he did have a bad deviated septum. That was not new news to us. He then went to an allergist. And there we found our problem. His only allergy was dust mites. The allergist said dust mites like memory foam the best. Not only did I buy a memory foam mattress, but memory foam pillows, as well. So we covered everything in expensive dust mite protection. But our sad journey continued. No sleep for either of us and my Sjogren’s was beginning to flare again. 

For some reason, he slept in the guest bedroom one night….probably because he just wanted sleep. And there he stayed. But we both started to do better and feel better. We were getting sleep. He occasionally slept in my room and me in his if the kids came home for a visit. But for the most part, he now had his room and I had mine. 

While we were happy with feeling good, neither of us were very happy about the situation. But we weren’t sure what to do. A new mattress seemed like the obvious solution except our steps seemed to be a huge hurdle. Not everything goes up our steps because of that turn. And the post deployment oddities continued. It was causing some other problems that made me actually thankful, at times, he was sleeping in the other room. 

I have never been afraid to mention to anyone we slept in separate rooms. People show their shock and sadness. They wonder if we are okay…is our marriage okay? Our kids started to express their concern. They were convinced sleeping in separate rooms would lead to our demise and eventual divorce. I would explain why… mattress, deployment, reintegration, PTSD, back injury, his need for a loud fan speed that plasters me against the wall, etc. To say this as politely as I can, there are different kinds of sleeping together. We have only not been sleeping with our eyes shut in the same bed. But we are really good with all the other kinds. ;)

I am married to my best friend. We knew we could weather this storm even if we never shared a bed again. We talked often about how we weren’t happy with the situation entirely. But we were happy with our quality of sleep we were both getting. And we were both healing. He is finally better from deployment. And I’ve had more energy than ever. But we miss each other though the night. Before deployment, we would often drift off to sleep touching feet…it’s our signal everything is good between us. I would often wake to him gently rubbing my back good morning. It’s his way of wishing I would be a morning person and wake up and talk to him right away…. Kisses goodbye always happened even if I didn’t know it or remember it.

Well, he left for annual training three weeks ago. We decide before he left we were too lonely. It was time for a new mattress for us and time to try and sleep together once again. I picked out a new coil mattress and ordered it. I gave my memory foam mattress to our son number four and painted and cleaned “my” room. I was gone for a bit so I didn’t need a mattress. Then I slept in his bed for four nights last week and I was miserable. I ached and I hurt. He returned last Saturday and we attempted to share his full-size bed since our mattress hadn’t arrived. I ended up on the couch. Five nights with little sleep for me. He announced he had slept better on his air mattress the previous weeks than in his own bed. I called and cancelled the order for the mattress and we drove to Des Moines in high pursuit of the perfect sleep for us for that night. We purchased a mattress not knowing if we could get it up the stairs but we were feeling determined. 

With the help of four of our sons, who came running quickly to help, we got that king size mattress up the steps…slightly smooshing it as they went …and on our bed frame. We were so exhausted we curled up and tried it out for a nap. And it was good.

New sheets and comforter set later, we settled into bed and slept well together for the first time in four years. 

He did bring his woobie with him from his room….that’s a blanket that soldiers woobie cold without… it’s slippery and camouflage. I had a security blanket when I was growing up. My Gram used to make me leave it on the side of her bed when I used to climb in….I was tempted to tell him he could climb in but leave the woobie on the floor…. He knows my Gram story.  He also saw one of my eyelashes flutter that first morning and started asking me questions right away …… We still have some sleeping and waking etiquette to relearn but I think we’re going to make it.

Touching toes once again....
God Bless,
Veggie Girl

He loves the little fishies

Bakery Boy loves sushi. I recently posted something on Facebook about this and his sister commented, "My brother eats sushi?" Yep. I posted about his picky eating a few blogs posts ago. He doesn't just eat sushi, he actually craves sushi. He always liked shrimp...he would eat fish we caught...but he's pretty happy now with lots of things that swim. I have always liked to eat fish and swimmy things of all types. Growing up my fave was a McDonald's fish sandwich. Gross to some, maybe, but I loved them. Having to be gluten free forces me to make my own version which is tastier to my adult taste buds. I am also a fan of sardines...yep.

Bakery Boy is also a revert Catholic and I am a convert. So for the last five years we have been eating more and more fish types during Lent. In fact, last year we gave up red meat for Lent. So maybe this is how his love for sushi grew..I'm not sure. I am sure that sometimes I find myself wondering who this husband of mine has turned into.... never say never will always be my motto.

I have a new favorite this Lent.... crab cakes! We usually make a Costco run at the beginning of Lent to check out their fish varieties for the season. I heard Bakery Boy say he wanted some clams....that is the most unusual request coming from him. I picked up some lump crab meat. Pricey...but we decided to try it one time. Our favorite is their fresh cod fillets. And then my husband said he had calamari while he was in Georgia... so we found a frozen pack of scallops, calamari, little neck clams, and shrimp. I also purchased a large bag of langostino lobster tails. Also pricey but one bag makes four meals..and then it's not so pricey. We love fresh seafood. It is pricey...and I like a deal. Frozen provides that deal for six weeks of Lent.

My gluten free crab cakes

16 oz lump crab meat....not the fake stuff
1 beaten egg...we get ours from a farmer
2 TBSP mayonnaise - I use Hellman's..it is gluten free
1 TBSP prepared yellow mustard
1 tsp Worcestershire
1 tsp dry mustard
1 tsp Old Bay seafood seasoning
1/2 tsp lemon juice
optional hot sauce to taste..we love Siracha
3/4 gluten free Panko bread crumbs


Whisk all ingredients together in a bowl except for crab and bread crumbs. Fold in crab and bread crumbs. Heat oil in skillet on medium heat. I use olive oil and a small pat of butter. Pat crab cakes into small patties. Fry until golden flipping once. Serve warm. This recipe makes around a dozen cakes depending on the size.

crab cakes with chive mayo

These cakes taste great alone...they have a sweetness that is simply delicious. They would pair well with a chardonnay or pinot grigio. I like to make a sauce..this one is mayo, Angostura bitters, red wine vinegar, and chives...but dill would also highly compliment the sweetness of the crab. I'm serving them on Easter Sunday as an appetizer before dinner...bite size.

lobster rolls....recipe being perfected...however, these were delish just a little too runny on the sauce...I'll share soon as I have enough frozen little tails for another recipe....these were great with a beer.

Friday I will be making a coconut milk based soup with the frozen clams, etc. If it turns out, I'll take a picture and share. I know there are concerns with fish these days..mercury, radioactive fallout.... We eat it in moderation but I just can't and choose not to walk around being scared about everything. I eat healthy, unprocessed food..besides chips..and I'm just choosing to be okay with it all. That being said..pregnant women are supposed to watch the amount of fish meals they eat per week. We are typically eating only one pwe week. 

It's been a wonderful Lent so far and the Triduum is now upon us Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Vigil... Happy Blessed Easter!

Love,

Veggie Girl

Never say never

I am a night person.  He is a morning person.  I like chocolate with nuts.  He says chocolate with nuts is contaminated.  He is a soldier and I love to be a girly girl. We are truly opposites and have conflict often and yet we are best friends. 

Imagine my soldier's surprise when he found me making breakfast this morning. Our youngest son once exclaimed, "It would just be nice if just once you would get up and make breakfast like a TV mom." Sad, but true.  I always made breakfast (cereal ;) ) when the kids were little. Over the years I have tried a few times to actually cook something.  This morning was one of those mornings because I found a recipe.  I would give credit for the recipe except I don't know where I saw it...so if I see it again.... I did not create this recipe. 

This recipe is four eggs and four oz. of cream cheese blendered.  That's it.  I used our blender and green non-stick pan.... tasty. 

 A little larger than silver dollar size works best

 One flip

 Topped with cherry raspberry rhubarb organic jam from Costco

Or make a savory flavor with cream cheese, smoked cheddar, and a few chives

Brenden (son number two)and Eric were carpooling today.  Brenden stopped in for a taste.... He didn't get much for breakfast growing up either.  But he approved.  We will make these again...next time topped with some bacon crumbles, too?

Flourless Crepes

four eggs

four oz. cream cheese

Place both ingredients and blender for about a minute.  Heat pan.  I can't imagine not using non-stick for this.  Watch for edges to look dry and flip once.  I did not use any salt or pepper. Pepper would be a nice addition but the savory toppings probably add enough salt. Enjoy!

Our other breakfast tradition for holidays is egg casserole.  I make it the night before (when I'm truly awake) to be popped in the oven in the morning by Bakery Boy when he is truly awake.... I'll share our gluten free version soon to be enjoyed for the upcoming holidays.

Never say never...

God Bless,

Veggie Girl

The Pickiness has Passed

Eric and I are foodies. This is really a interesting thing for me to say considering I married one of the pickiest eaters. We have been married 27 years.  The first half of those years I spent trying to convince Eric and our sons to try different foods.  Probably the most difficult thing about raising our five sons was their pickiness with food and them being hungry growing boys.  But I can honestly say that I am thankful I persevered with cooking and they all seem to enjoy healthy food now.

I wish I could be a junk food junkie and be healthy.  But we have some different healthy issues in our family... Sjogren's Syndrome, gluten intolerance, wheat allergy, and some seem to be intolerant to milk.... so over the years we started searching for how to eat and be healthy.  Basically we follow Dr. Mercola, a paleo-type diet, Dr. Wahl out of Iowa City, we juice, we are firm believers in being meat eaters, and we are opposed to GMO's and try to avoid high fructose corn syrup...hard to always follow but we try every day.

We are busy people.  So we decided a few years back to go to our Farmer's Market for our produce and not plant our own garden.  Well, this year we decided to put in four tomato plants, three jalapeno plants, some kale, and my usual herbs.

We spent our summer traveling, gardening, and canning. I have always canned by myself.  But this summer Eric helped and even did some on his own.  Spring was slow to start so everything has been pushed back.  From those four tomato plants we have 30 quarts of tomatoes canned, plus tomato juice, and 24 cups of spaghetti sauce.  We froze probably 75 jalapenos and processed our fresh basil into ready to use herbal ice cubes.  Farmers Market gave us potatoes for hash browns, beets, onions, and some wonderful yellow tomatoes. I made strawberry margarita jam and blueberry basil white wine vinegar.  And at the beginning of September we decided to plant one hill of fall pickling cucumbers.  We have had success and have put up thirteen pints of bread and butter pickles.  I am hoping to make some dill pickles...if not I'll make some dill green tomatoes because my four silly plants are still producing in October. We still have plans to make my barbeque sauce as we used the last jar this summer. 

Things we know:
1) I love to cook
2) I hate doing dishes
3) We all feel better if we try to eat healthy
4) If I could, I would eat chips and cheese for dinner
5) My kids and husband all know my favorite meal for dinner is chips and cheese

But we are so thankful for the wonderful things we have stored up for this coming winter. I'll post pictures and recipes as I cook. So stay tuned!

My step by step for canning tomatoes..our tomato plants are still green and producing

Bread and Butter pickles...yum

My fifth batch of tomatoes picked and our herbs moved inside for winter...rosemary, basil, mint... loving our beach and palm to remind us of our great summer

Our Farmer's Market onions hanging neatly in panty hose for the winter...this really works

Today's accomplishment...one huge pot of spaghetti sauce made from my fifth batch of tomatoes.

Eric and I bought this spoon on one of our travels this summer at the Amish store in Lamoni

I'm going to sleep feeling like Laura Ingalls Wilder... or Almanzo in Farmer Boy.  We are increasing our garden size next summer. 

So thankful the pickiness has passed. 

God Bless,

Veggie Girl

I feel a blog coming on

That's what I said to myself as I stood patiently, with my customer number in hand, waiting to have my fabric cut.  The last few minutes had been bizarre and I could see the next few were heading in the same direction. 

I own my own custom sewing, alterations, and design business. I frequent fabric stores. I am very blessed to have a locally owned Ben Franklin here in my small town.  I try to always support them with my business first.  Occasionally, I make a dash to the "big city" fabric store which I shall not name.  However, if you've read any of my previous blogs on Pugh News you may know to which store I am referring.  Today was one of those dashing in days....I'm not sure why I thought I would dash in and out of this store but I had my hopes up and the clock was ticking.

Okay, I wear one contact.  I wear bifocal glasses.  But I'm one of the lucky ones who can wear one contact to see far away and none for up close...monovision.  Except it doesn't work so well when shopping..at least for me.  I realized when I dashed in to the unnamed store that I was going to have a bit of trouble.  But off I went in search of a separating, black, sport coat zipper.  I asked a sweet lady to point me in the direction of the zippers and I was off and running.  Next up...taffeta.  Not so easy.  I headed to the direction of the dress fabrics and went row by row.  But by the time I neared the end of the first section I just wasn't sure. Lo and behold appeared a store employee.  So I asked simply, "Taffeta?" 

She said, "Not back here." I waited for some elaboration.  Nothing.  I work in customer service..not just in my business but I also work in a sports bar.  So I said, "Am I in the right section? Is it all this way(as I motioned)?"  She said, "Yes. But it's all mixed up."  Lovely. I went back and found what I needed and headed towards the fabric cutting station..... and pulled my paper number for my turn.  See, I've learned.  I've learned if you don't have that paper number you don't get help. 
And I waited..and waited..... there was one employee cutting fabric.  She finally called for backup.  And I look up and here comes my "not back here" lady.  She went to check the customer counter and proceeds to ask for customer 17 and looks at me.  Well, I'm not 17.  I'm holding 18 and I show her.  She says to the other employee and motions to the customer, "Was she 17?"  Nope.  She says to me, "You're not 17?"  Nope.  I say, "I'm 18."  And then she says, "Well, what can I help you with?"  (Can you see my look shining brightly through the computer?)  But I politely asked for one yard.
With my fabric in tow, I headed directly to the checkout and there I find myself in line with three customers in front of me one of which had her calculator checkbook combo thing out. I should be more conscientious with my money like the true Dave Ramsey fan I am but by this time I was getting annoyed. 
And I waited..and waited..... and the employee finally called for back up.  Guess who came running? Yep, "not back here" lady.  And she says to me,  "So how are you doing today?"

I just don't have any more words.

They did have a help wanted sign on the door when I entered.

Bakery Boy wasn't feeling so well today.... I will take him, my superhero, next time for back up.

God Bless,
Love,
Veggie Girl

There was a veggie girl....

... there was a bakery boy.  We met in January 1985 working food service. I was a new student employee.  He was a third year student employee.  I saw him pass by pushing a cart of desserts.  I thought at the time he was short, fat, and bald.  He was none of those things.  He had lost a bet with his roommates and had to shave his head.  He was bent over the cart which accounted for the inaccurate short part.  But the fat part I have no clue. It was a funny first impression.  And then he came over and put his arm around my shoulder.....errrrrtttttt................ correction...he put his arm around my waist  and said, "I try to meet all the new employees." That was his pick-up line. He always makes sure I state the arm placement correctly...because after all it made all the difference in whether I would date him or not, right?  In a very short time we were dating and three months later he asked me to marry him. 

We've been married 27 years and have five sons, two daughter-in-laws, and our first grandson on the way.  We are a military family.  We have survived job loss, financial distress, deployment, very sick children, and several moves. We supported each other as we finished college; he in forestry and myself in education. We've been fortunate to travel. I homeschooled the boys at one point or another until high school.  We love biking, gardening, music, food, and cocktails.  I am an artist and free-lance writer. He is a full-time soldier who is passionate about nature and trees. Most importantly we are faith-filled best friends who try to live with each day purpose passionately through our faith.

There are days we may not leave the house but our lives are still full of amazing adventures...... The Adventures of Veggie Girl and Bakery Boy.....

God Bless
love,
Monica