Woven together...and then it all makes sense

I have been hesitating to write... simply because we, Veggie Girl and Bakery Boy, have a huge story and sometimes I'm not sure what to write or where to go with it...it is so much and we have healed and grown beyond much of it. Or do I just write about our daily adventures? Everything has shaped us and our marriage. Today it all became very clear.

Our story together is almost 30 years in the making with lots of ups and downs. But events from when I was ten years old through today...at 49... all came woven together in just a few minutes.

When I was ten, I experienced sudden hearing loss in my right ear. The cause remains a mystery to this day. After discovering my hearing loss, my parents took me to several doctors and we finally ended up at Mayo Clinic where they said, "She is profoundly deaf in her right ear and there is nothing we can do to help her." We left. I remember how I felt riding home..scared...sad... alone. And then I went on with my growing up. Being single-sided deaf is very challenging. I have no directional hearing and I appear to be fully hearing. So I experienced people being left confused when I didn't hear them. And then people were always thinking I was rude or stuck up. That became my life. My good friends and particularly my bakery boy are always hearing for me. Being hearing impaired is incredibly frustrating socially. My friends and family will tell you they don't like to be in my black void area which is to my right back side out of my vision. Vision is key for me to understand what I am hearing as I must read your lips.

Jump ahead to age 20..I met my bakery boy. I was prepping veggies for the salad bar and he was prepping desserts....a food service romance.We married a year later. Early in our marriage the Cochlear implant became headline news.  I told him, "If anything ever comes around to help me hear, I will do it."

And by the time we were 24, our second son was born. Brenden was born with multiple life threatening heart defects. He was missing his aorta, had multiple holes between the upper and lower chambers, and had a misplaced right sub-clavian artery. He had his first of three open heart surgeries at four days old. He is our miracle..and he is a huge story himself... but key to today is from the time he was able to cry his voice was raspy. And as he grew, everyone asked if he was sick. His voice was weak and he was always hoarse.

When Brenden was 17, we took him to an ENT for his voice. We only knew to do this because his older brother, Brady, had recently had his vocal cords looked at because he is a singer and was having difficulties. The speech pathologist asked Brenden, "Does anyone ever have trouble hearing you speak?" Brenden replied, "Yes, my mom, but she doesn't count because she's deaf in her right ear." The speech pathologist looked at me and said, "Have you heard of the BAHA?" I hadn't. She got me a pamphlet and to be honest I was so engrossed in what I was reading I had a hard time paying attention to Brenden's appointment.

At home, I simply handed the information to Bakery Boy. There were really no words. I said, "If I can get insurance to pay, I have to do this. There is finally something to help me." I had my BAHA placement surgery March 30, 2008. Three months later, which was the required time for healing, I received my Divino sound processor. I was 43.

I cried a lot. I was overwhelmed with sound. My left ear worked but I heard in a very flat way and now I was hearing in fullness...possibly with more stereo. I sobbed all through church the first Sunday I heard the piano. I sobbed hearing the radio in the car. I heard the wind and the birds and cars all at the same time. I stood in amazement at the grocery store when a clerk spoke to me in my black void and I heard her and turned and walked to her line. Brenden also had a vocal reinnervation surgery for his paralyzed vocal cord around the same time....which happened because of his first open heart surgery. And I was shocked and amazed the first time we had a conversation in a car. It was never possible before. Our doctor, Dr. Simon Wright, gave us the gift of communication. He changed our lives. And I thought my story was done.


Two years later, I prepared to send my husband and son to Afghanistan for a year long tour. My husband, my bakery boy, prepared his office to be taken care of by a fill-in soldier... Shaun Myers. Bakery Boy and oldest son, Brady, returned safely. And we started to get to know Shaun better. He came down for a bridge festival and I could see the soldier connection between my husband and him. They continued to share an office. He came to Brady's wedding. And then we heard Shaun had met Amber. I missed their wedding but husband attended. Their baby girl, Aliannah, was born premature last December 2013 with microtia and atresia essentially leaving her deaf. And I fell in love with that baby girl the minute she was born before I even met her.

Aliannah is my life experiences all rolled into one...really sick, hospitalized kids (we have one more..another story another day) combined with my deafness. And I'm okay and I'm through it all and still standing. I talked to my audiologist about donating my Divino to Aliannah so she could begin to hear now..so they could relax and get funds and insurance in place for Ali's surgeries and her very own BAHA. I found out it was possible. My Divino was sitting in my dresser for I received an upgrade two years ago. I waited to tell because tests needed to confirm she had the potential to hear. Yesterday was an amazing day and I was so blessed to be part of Ali's first time hearing her momma's voice. Ali and I happen to share the same doctor office and audiologist...I don't believe it's a coincidence.

My faith is my driving force. Everything I do is because of my beliefs and the proof I see through the miracles in my life. As I was living the last 30 years, there were times when it was all just too much. And I asked often why we had to go through so much. Why did my children suffer? Why did life have to be stressful? Why? Why? Why? And as I walked and often times trudged through each day, I would receive answers and my heart was softened and shaped. But never did I expect to see this outcome. Never did I expect to see all of these events woven together. Trials are heart and gut wrenching. It is so hard to wait and wonder and want answers. And then we heal and we are able to look back and understand.

I would change one thing about my trials. I would take away my children's pain. That, as a parent, is the most difficult thing. But going through everything we have, Veggie Girl and Bakery Boy together, has made us what we are today...at the age of 49.

There is more to come I am sure...more blessings and more trials. But we have new forever friends with Shaun, Amber, and Ali...they are a part of our family now.

Side note: Brenden is 25 now and healthy. He and his wife are expecting their first baby this summer.

Love and Blessings,
Veggie Girl

The first day I met Ali 

Yesterday... I'm wearing my BAHA BP100 and she's wearing my Divino on a softband...clearly she wants her momma


UPDATE PICTURE OF MISS ALI 2015 (she has her own BAHA now):